With thanks to Andy "Banks" Curzon for writing the report this week:

In a rare 2nd 5pm bank holiday start in a row, Doug ‘anything-but-8-ball’ Clark kicked us off on the Brunswick against the Ukrainian Duckboy, but as the lag came in for Mr. Ivanov and he chose 8 ball, Doug’s face fell. Other than an unlucky early 8 ball losing him the opening rack, Kostya had the best of it, winning as he did, 5-2.

An in-form Phan found his rhythm against Tomasz Jedlecki, sneaking past him 5-3 and setting up a mouth-waterer vs the Ukrainian Duckboy in the last 16. Phantastically, the rhythm continued for Mr. P as he slayed the Duck hill hill, leaving him quacking in the corner with his tail between his legs. The Jam slammed Hassan Aljumaili 5-1 as Sean Avery got pimp-slapped 5-3 by Omkar Chimbaikar, setting up a second round between them, which Jamma landed 5-2, allowing us a first quarter final of Ramesh Danny Gokhul vs Andrew Phan (the 9 ball final from two weeks ago).

Ciaran, another player finding some stellar lines recently as he nestles into his new cue, crucified Ali 5-1 but was all out of steam immediately running headfirst into a Rod (luckily not holding his cue at the time), painfully losing his last 16 encounter without a single rack to show for it.

Ramon torched Alan Llorente 5-2 alongside the mighty Saman drilling through Ranj 5 racks to 3, leaving them to face off in the last 16. Saman, the most improved player of 2022, has been offering us some good clearances recently at MNT which he took into his quarter final clash, but couldn’t quite bag Navarro, who won 5-4 in a mammoth encounter that wasn’t over until well after the other 3 semis finalists were decided (remember this was a last 16 round, not even a quarter final yet).

The bottom half of the draw saw Arjon Hasi inch past Danny Navidi hill hill as Big Jim nailed Greg Mostyn 5 racks to 3, setting up a battle of the lefties in the last 16. Ultimately, Jimboleio fell short, allowing Arjon to climb even further up the rankings, sliding into the last 8 by only dropping a single rack v the Greece-ball. They will meet again in Tier 1 of the Tooting league on Wednesdays so it’s not all tears forever for Jimboleio!

‘Twitchy’ Joe Prince disposed of trucker-Paz, but a couple of Joe’s classic choke-artist jabs allowed Brennan a sniffle as he forged himself a consolation rack. Sunny the boy G struggled against Hassan Mehedi but managed to overcome Mehedi’s nous and roll into the last 16. After assuring the press he wasn’t related to Ding Junhui, Twitchy went on to face Sunny in a heated battle going all the way to the wire. Luckily for Sunny Boy, you can always count on Prince dogging a sitter in a decider. After the match he lamented “it’s ok, I won more than a break cue on the weekend – the ol’twitchy trigger finger won’t be a bother ‘til m’next hundred squid set with Pistol - which I need remember to lose or he’ll want an even bigger donkey start: Hee haw!”.

Without any practice at all recently, Martinho Correia took down relative newcomer Tobes Anyouku, who kept with Martinho until 3-3 but then the Master stepped in and experience won through. Weekend UK Open spot winner, Gabriel Vasilache burned a hole in Jenkins’ sidebag 5-2 but couldn’t maintain his form against Martinho in the last 16, who kindly finished Gabriel off 5-4, wiping the smile clean off The Vasilache.

Ali Merchant took down (another newcomer) Simon Prosser 5-1 as Maciej the Crocodile snoozed past Mariusz W 5 racks to 2. Ali Merchant was able to scream past Maciej, 5-0 in the last 16, only to face Master Martinho in the quarters, getting robbed blind 5-1.

So the quarter final line-up:

Ramma Jamma v Andrew Phan; Rodney v Ramon; Arjon v Sunny; Martinho v Ali Merchant.

Repeating his feat of a couple of weeks ago, Jamma drowned Phan 5 racks to 3, Rod rearranged Ramon’s priorities, 5-3, Sunny was having none of Arjon’s form, also snagging a 5-3 win, and Martinho decided to show up against Ali Merchant and book himself a place in the semis with a 5-1 mauling.

So…Ramma v Rod and Sunny v Martinho…4 of Tooting’s hailed “Big 6” (the other members being Gabriel V and the always-semi-retired Tash ‘fish-on-a-hook’ Witko Schultz) and an absolute privilege of a semi-final line-up.

In the top half semi, the Chilean superstar, Altes, had forgotten what it was like on the hot coals of Ram Palace as he eventually bent the knee, 5-2, and Martinho ambushed Sunny by the same scoreline, setting up a multiball battle of the ages: Ramesh vs Martinho, or as it would have been in Street Fighter:

Gokhul (Dhalsim) vs Correia (M Bison).

Martinho has made a good few MNT finals here in the past 6 months or so and this was his chance, despite having barely picked up a cue, and against the no. 1 in town, he pulled a rabbit out of his top-hat and took the game all the way after 8 racks to hill hill. But Ramesh the clutchmeister had one whiff and took his third MNT trophy in as many weeks, unbeaten since his tour of the Americas.

Often we ask ourselves in tight spots, or at least should: what would Jamma do? He’d win three in a row, that’s what! Well out on his own in rankings with over 9 points with no-one else even in the ‘8s’ he’s a stellar fella. Well done Yoda!