Sit back, crack a beer, and nestle into another dream with us at the home of American pool.
This week: 9 ball; race to 6 (next week Scotch doubles).
Let’s get stuck in.

Top half first rounds had crackerjack Nick Ronase face off against Jamie “Rapid Fire” in a tense table two tussle, Nick showing heaps of mettle, a three-nine plant, and lashings of white-ball wizardry to charge through 6-4. Jamie cracked some bangers in, but the table was faster than he’s used to and the white ran away from him, letting the best breaker at the club in two too many times.

Table 4 saw a monster showdown between Andy Adams and newcomer, Ken Ofili. Ken getting used to the Tooting baize, allowed Andy to muster a hard fought 4-0 lead and Ken dragged himself back to 5-4 deficit, but was eventually harpooned 6-4.

Table six saw Gabriel “how does he not win way more” [Ram quote] Vasilache take on a steaming Pistol Pete “The Clinic” Cloherty, building on their rivalry at the top of the second tier at the club in a strange encounter of the third kind (first time they played Gabriel won 5-4 from 2-4 down on table 2: 9 ball; second time they played Pistol toasted Gabriel 6-1, missing one open pot all match: 8 ball).
Pistol had been playing all afternoon, break dishing - or reverse dishing – almost every game, definitely a man on a mission since Ali came back from 0-4 to cream him 5-4 a few months back.

With his newly bedded in soft Kamui tip on 314-3 shaft, The Clinic continued his lessons as Gabriel slowly fell apart, missing two mid-range balls by almost a foot to hand Pistol a 5-2 lead, before Gabriel salvaged a scrappy one, and then scratched in the 9 th to give away the final frame, losing 6-3.
Gifts welcome!

Arul did himself proud winning a frame against Daniel Son. It’s good to see him becoming a regular fixture at the club.
Marius Dandu. What can a man say? Such a fluid player. The Mark Williams of American 9 ball. He can not only pot from anywhere, but command the white to glide neatly into a nun’s corner pocket. But facing him last night was The Gladiator, Hamza Itum. Unshakeable, well-oiled, and grinning at the thought of the challenge, Hamza grilled Marius and eventually bumped him off 6-4.
Approached for his post match interview, Marius was only seen walking outside for a fag, muttering to himself “lucky lucky lucky…”.

Next, Martinho Correia took on Shadi Ed in the most eagerly awaited first rounder since Joshua Filler v GJ Oyangoren earlier in the year. Martinho used to grace the tables of Riley’s Victoria ::boo hiss:: back in the early 2000s and give starts to Rico Diks, Imran Majid, So Shaw, and all the rest. Out of practice, he prepared to face, in my view one of the most respectable cue actions in the London’s Finest cadre, Mr. Ed himself.
Martin galloped ahead, only to find Shadi resiliently sneak back. Martin dribbled some more in with precision, as he does, and found himself 5-4 up. Shadi looked down at the table, determined, composed, and struck a lovely clearance to draw it to hill-hill. But the MC burrowed in for the last sprint and took Shadi at the line in a photo finish.

Ranj snatched victory from the jaws of defeat swindling Ali the Greatest (6-5), and GJ trounced Paz 6-2 without breaking a sweat.

In the bottom half, last week’s bandit, Tash, edged past George Parkinson 6-4. The teenage mutant pool robot, otherwise known as Kostiantyn, decimated Joe Granville by the same scoreline, as Tomasz excavated Henri out of the digging of his own grave, 6-2.
Rod capsized Sean 6-0, leaving him up the creak without a paddle. Peter “The Pirate” Hsu ship-wrecked Richard Vinluan 6-2, and Khan gate-crashed Ervin’s parade, 6 racks to 2. The last two first round games saw Paul Choong sink Glen Hargreaves 6-4, and Hassan Aljumaili rip Andy C a new side-bag, 6-2.

Second rounds and GJ had a rematch with Joshua Filler in mind while milking Ranj 6-0, and then Martinho Correia mutilated Daniel Son 6-2 in a wonderful display, really showing the man how to push out!

Hamza The Gladiator continued his barbaric onslaught against Andy Adams, slaying him with his final blow, 6-5, leaving him awaiting the winner of Pistol Pete or Nick Ronase.
And it was to be an epic, Nick humbly remarking after he’d “just capitilised on the mistakes”, eventually splintering Pete, 6-5. On being asked what it was like being taken to The Ronase Clinic, Pistol Pete mumbled “hot and busy”. How long will this hill-hill loss keep him away?

Bottom half saw artful revenge for the Ukrainian Ninja as he flashed past no. 2 Tash. Kostiantyn poured 6 bucket loads of liquid silliness all over Tash’s head and Tash could only manage 4 back, handing Ukraine a spot in the quarters for a second week in a row.
Peter Hsu continued his swashbuckling run, cantering past Khan 6-4, General Zod (see Superman 2 from 1980) showed Tomasz who’s the daddy, offering him only a single rack in consolation, and Hassan A obliterated Paul Choong’s dream of a deep run, 6-2.

So the quarters: Nick v Hamza; Martinho v GJ; Kostiantyn v Rod; Peter Hsu v Hassan A.
Nick wasn’t in the mood to give an inch to The Gladiator, continuing his electric run as he soldered Hamza 6-2, and Martinho showed his class against GJ by coagulating him 6-1.
In the bottom two quarters, Rod medicated the hyper Ukrainian 6-2, injecting his usual viper grip over his opponents, and then The Pirate played to a new level nudging past Hassan Aljumaili 6-3 to reach his first semi-final at the club.

Here was where the dream was to end for the two hopefuls, Nick Ronase and Peter Hsu – both doing themselves proud by reaching the semis in a strong field. Martin Correia had to deal with a vibrant fight from Nick but eventually cast him aside 6-3, as Rod cruised past Peter, 6-1.

The blockbuster night ended in ruin for all but God. Martin Correia hadn’t even finished his pre-match routine before Rod Altes vapourized him 5-0, once again crowning himself temporary king of Ram Palace.

Pandemonium set in at the club and beyond as Mr. Altes counted his evening’s rack losses on one hand and lifted the trophy in the other, his fan clamouring for autographs as he whipped them further into a frenzied winner’s chant that was heard deep into the night along the streets of Tooting.
Tash and Rod have both basked in a paddle of a Ramless sea, but not for long. Time to wake up now.